The Capulet flower

- 1 -

Balthasar gave his normal slow pace through the corridor of his room, he was looking for something. Something in a dream reminded him of a diary he used to keep, he wanted to find it. It was a small little notebook, such a sneeky thing, where was it? It shouldn't be too far, yet it was, so many years had passed since then. Balthasar went down the stairs to the old basement located below the apartment, right next to the parking, something he had never had the need to use, for he never in his 63 years had learnt to drive. Balthasar searched through the old locker, two meters deep and three meters tall. Tall and deep as it was, it wasn't enough to hold all of his stuff, everywhere, loads of boxes and old junk. Junk everywhere on end, he went back upstairs to look for a chair, this was not good at all for his back. Back to work, he took away the heaviest stuff first, a bycicle, an old telly he had never used, and a couple of boxes, but when he removed the boxes one of them fell to the floor, revealing something unexpected, something long forgotten.
Forgotten letters now lay around on the floor, their unmistakable smell brought back all their words to Balthasar, words of happiness and love. Love from so long ago, that he forgot everything that was happening in that very instant, the men shouting at a football game, the people crossing the street, the nearing clouds of storm, the little bird that flew past by and was now feeding on some crumbs. Balthasar opened one of the letters, and began to read it. Its words made him want to cry, he pressed his lips to the paper and ink to try and kiss the words, try and kiss the person, but of course it was just paper. Paper everywhere on the floor, he put it all back on the white box, where it belonged, saving everything back inside the locker; he would come back at some point.
At some point, he found himself at a park, with the white box of letters. Letters which he opened from first to last. Last was the name of the author of said letters, a certain Katerina Capulet, in beautiful handwriting. Handwriting; such a thing of the old ages now! Now it was all texting and sexting and facebook posts filled with empty words, or words of others. Others would not understand how this 63 year old man felt, as he cried to those letters in a box, remembering times long past. Past long and eternal words he felt like answering to those letters, he felt like writing with all the affection there ever was in this world, the affection of a parent teaching it's child, the affection a bee has towards the flower from which it draws the nectar from, the affection with which the sun each morning rises from the east; but Balthasar had already answered those letters, it would be empty and hollow to do it all over again, wouldn't it? It was unholy to try to remember her, to desire her, to love her, to do anything other than admire her, for she was so human it was unthinkable that you could just take her for yourself without breaking her. Her dark stare, her apparent indifference towards others, but he knew, for the words he read in the letters, she was so much more than the wall she had once proyected.
Balthasar's surroundings began to grey, and as he saw a small drop of rain fall into one of the pages, he quickly put them back inside the box, and went to a bar close-by. By the window he could see the heavy rain in the dark streets as he drank green tea and thought about the letters, it had been so long, and he still loved her, he could never forget her. Her wild, seemingly uncontrollable short hair, the strange turn her lips took when she would smile.
Smile he could not, he tried, but he could not. Not because the memories weren't beautiful, but because he had forgotten so much he could never forgive himself.
Balthasar opened the next envelope, inside there was a photograph, a black and white smile of a young blonde woman standing next to a tree; her body facing the tree but her face turning towards the camera, looking inside the eyes of the beholder with such joy and wonder. Wonder how time goes by, with the photograph there came a flower petal that belonged to the tree surrounding Katerina; such a delicate blossom, Balthasars fingers were shaking as he tried to hold the petal without destroying it, brought it to his nose, as he once used to do so very often, a memory now so faint. Faint was the perfume now, almost completely lost, yet somehow it persevered through time.
Time it was to exit the bar for the rain had ceased and so much was in his mind, there was something clinging to be noticed, yet it was so far away. Away as the memory of how he once felt, the perfume of the petal had brought a tiny little glimpse of how he used to feel, and he tried to catch it in the air but he could not, he was consumed by the need to remember, to feel like that again.
Again Balthasar was out of the bar with his box of letters and slowly walking the two blocks that took him to his appartment, one single thought on his mind, that if he was to find the tree from which the petal belonged, and smell that air that reminded him of his first lover, he could feel as he had felt before.

Words

If you were to cut me open to see what's inside
Words would be all you find.
On the outside the only thing I have
Are eyes to see and ears to hear
Inside I'm bursting with words
But I do not own a mouth
Yet there are so many, so many words in me
They bleed out whenever they can
Whenever there's a pen
Whenever there's a computer
They escape through my fingers
I have so, so many words
They flood away because they don't all fit in me
And people seem to enjoy the taste of my blood
It's alright, I have so much
I don't mind giving you my words
So many words
All for you
It's alright, you can take them
I have many of them
Look; here I bleed again.

The keeper of ashes

I dislike fire
It's blaze and warmth frightens me
But it is an execution dutifully needed
I am the keeper of ashes
Once the bright light of
life, creation, and destruction
incinerates whole, eating it's host
Once the light of the fire fades away
When only blackness lays behind
The leftovers are ashes of what once was
I collect them
And I save them
To remain forevermore 

Genesis of Savein

I


I was the last of my sisters to be born. We were born from a seed of Ulamineska in Anul's hair. We are three, Sonja's the oldest, then Skylar and then me. We are stars. With our birth all the stars in the night sky were born, but I have never met or seen one that is like us, we have two forms. The animals told us that, that's because we have the gift of consciousness that other stars and constellations have not, so we have two bodies, the fiery rock, and our conscious form with which we roam the land we shine upon.
My sisters and I are each making a field book, filling it with everything we know. Sonja says the word is grimoire, and Skylar tells me it's good for remembering things when you need them. But I could never forget about the properties of tulips or how to make essences out of teardrops, or the names of trees and which animals live along them. But they say the more I put in it the better, that it should be filled with everything there is in the world.
Maybe I should start telling the story of how Savein became what it is. I don't think my sisters wrote about the beginning, even though they know it, I think they are just writing everything about the present and what they lived so far, I guess they're right, there barely was anything before we were born.
There was nothing, truly, but water and rock. Rock was the core, and water covered it all, and there was nothing else, there was no sky, no light, only Darkness and Hope. Water and rock.
Until, slowly, very slowly, the rock began to grow, peaks of rock began to rise from the water, until you could call it a land.

From inside the rock something started to grow, a seed that wasn't there before, grew and grew and grew until it became a tree. A tree of white bark and purple leafs; the first to breathe in this land of rock and water. It's spirit awoke something on the rock and the water, the tree could think and feel, but most importantly, the tree could create. It's roots grew inside the rock, that was now partly earth, the roots grew and extended themselves to some place they liked for themselves and from them grew other trees, but not white trees like the first one, from the roots grew normal trees, yew, pine, hazel,nirre, lenga, and many other trees. They, nonetheless, could not create like the first tree. When the land was filled with earth and trees and flowers and grass that were well taken care of by the water that has been there since the beginning, from the first tree was born a Sun.

II

From beneath it's roots a creature crawled and was born, it was fire and it was life. His name was Lëm, and his fire shot to the sky and lighted the land, when he was in the sky the flowers blossomed and the trees gave fruit. The sun was gifted with;consciousness, so he had another body, the first body to crawl, walk and run on the land. After long hours of walking around and shining upon everything that he could lie his eyes on, he came back to the place were he was born, tired of his first day of life. He slept against the first tree and his dreams travelled through the first tree and into it's roots, and from them a Moon was born, crawling from inside the tree. The moon was like the sun, but completely different, it was not fire, it was not life, but she was magic and dreams, she was soul. She wondered at the sleeping man next to the tree, his dark body shining only mildly, but enough to make her skin sparkle. 

Hánuxa walked around the land and got to see it, she saw how her presence changed the ways of the water and the growth of the flora. When she returned to the first tree, which she liked better than most, not for being the womb from which she was born, but because of it's beauty and majesty. As she looked upon the tree, she gave it a name; Ulamineska. Then four seeds fell from it, the first fell on the ground, the other three got entwined in her curly hair, and she looked up to her original form in the sky, and now it wasn't alone. In her hair there were many twinkling sparks, that shone on the sky next to her.

But there were three sparks that shone brighter, creating a small constellation in the night, three great stars that looked like an arrow head together. Hánuxa called it Oliuaia. Watching the Oliuaia constellation with great pride, she felt the Sun waking. And when he woke the fire from his eyes awoke consciousness in us.

III

Like I said, Sonja was born first, she was curious above all, she soon learned the name of the moon and the sun, of the Tree and her own, her hair is a soft brown, and her face and body was covered with freckles. While Lëm and Hánuxa were walking around the land, sleeping or exploring, my eldest sister sat in front of Ulamineska, and saw her younger sister be born. Skylar was born a day later, her hair orange and short, her eyes a deep green, her skin too, was covered in freckles. Sonja was quick to teach her little sister everything, and told her there was still another star to be born from the first tree. They saw my birth, we three shared freckled skin, but I was blonde of hair and of light blue eyes. The three of us wondered around the land for infinite time, there was no counting the days, for the moon and sun were on the sky at the same time most of the time, maybe one left before the other at times, or sometimes they would walk different paths and the sky would have two sides.
The fourth seed then grew. It was clouds. The sky filled with clouds, now it rained, or snowed, or there was rainbows. Now the sky was grey or pink or orange. And from the roots of the first tree the cloud's conscious form was born, a young handsome man.
We grew together, the four of us. Hánuxa and Lëm always stayed away, I don't know why. It was the three of us, eager to learn, eager to live in this strange land, and Mimir who always followed us around. And boy, did I like him, sometimes I'd hide from my sisters and climb a tree with Mimir and we would talk and watch the sky, and how he would change colours and shapes at my request. They were good days, bright days. Neither Sonja or Skylar understood what I felt, but I didn't care.
It wasn't too long until Ulamineska created again. Five dragons were born from it's roots. They were small at first, the five of them extremely different from each other, but of the same kind at the same time, like my sisters and me. We felt in our hearts that it was not up to us to help them, that though very different from us, they were like the trees and the flowers, and they would grow and they would die at their own time. The dragons grew and flew away to different points of the land, rarely we left the forest of the First Tree, but the dragons flew away, distancing themselves from us. Like this, all kinds of fauna were born, and dispersed themselves through the land. Each animal was very different, with diverse habits and feeding needs; feeding. That was something we have never heard of until the animals. What do moons and stars and suns and clouds feed of? My sisters and I were never as curious, we tried what the animals tried, and we learnt to mix the flavors, but it was all hollow to us. Mimir though, found that the dew from the flowers and the rain and the water made him feel strong, and we saw how Lëm began tearing apart dead animals and ate their meat, while Hánuxa had a fancy over the animals that lived beneath the water. But nothing filled my sisters and I.

IV

There was a whole world right beneath our feet, there was sky and ground, flora and fauna, and our spirits that inhabited it, but there wasn't balance, not yet. There was something else, the last creation Ulamineska would make. The Hearthborns. A hundred men, shaped like Lëm or Mimir rose from the roots of the first tree, and then a hundred women, like Hánuxa and us, but that was all they were, like the animals that were born before them, they had only one physical form, they were mortal, they were finite. They had needs, like the animals, they fed with meat like Lëm and they drank water like Mimir, they covered their skin with fat from the water-animals and they named everything like Hánuxa. We all took interest in those Hearthborns, there were so many of them, and they mingled and mixed in strange ways, and looked up to us in our powers and wisdom, which my sisters and I, if as well we didn't share everything, we helped them and taught them little things we knew, and the sun and the moon were like a father and a mother to the people. Hánuxa taught them speech and Lëm taught them how to hunt and how to eat. We observed them more from the far, not mingling with them as much, but intervened when it was needed, we learnt properties of flowers and plants and everything that surrounded us that could help the Hearthborns. I came to envy them, they were so beautiful! They loved too, like Mimir and I, they hurt and they smiled, they lived so much and felt so much. They discovered many things we never would have learnt in our own.
But they were too many for the forest, the people with Lëm and Hánuxa drifted away from the forest of Ulamineska, like other animals and the dragons had, and the ones who remained slowly became more special. Not only the Hearthborns, but the animals too. The closer to the First Tree they lived, the more conscious and intelligent they were, we could listen to their thoughts and understand each other, and they had a special connection to the tree, even stronger than our own. The people who stayed on the other hand, were curious, like us, and we helped them and guided them through their discoveries.

V

One of the men who stayed in the forest discovered fire, and with words he could bend it. Acui was with his younger brother Makus, Acui was a grown man already, how fast time passed for these people, he was hitting some small stones between each other to pass the time, among those stones there was a sewali one, and as Acui hit this stone with another, sparks of light and electricity blew from the friction, he began to repeat the process until it was clear to him. Makus fetched dry feathers and twigs and all he could find, and Acui directed the sparks towards this, and both of them, and the three of us (for it we are stars and in the sky we see everything) saw how the fire ate the twigs and shone bright and warm. The brothers enjoyed the fire and found it soothing to be close to it, while awake, and while they slept. They came out of the woods to show it to the other people, all the things that could be achieved with this new discovery, how it could keep them warm, how it could cook the meat, dry skins, bend or harden strips of bark and thin poles. The people loved it and welcomed it, and marveled at Acui's ability to manipulate it, sometimes he would whisper words and the fire would become greater or smaller, even change colours, until one day, fire accidentally burnt down someones home, and a child inside it. That's when they realized fire not only created but also destroyed, and Acui's gifts were frown upon, he returned to the forest, almost as a recluse. But not before he quarreled with his brother, Acui maintained that the fire they had built in the village where the people lived should never be killed, for from it the people fed their own fires, but Makus said that the people should work hard to make their own fire, to make it an effort to create this that was as useful as it was destructive. The brothers now separated, the people looked upon Makus for guidance to what would become of the fire, which was both loved and feared. The younger brother, for he still loved his eldest, decided to respect him in a way, without betraying his thought, and so every night, the Hearthborns would gather twigs and branches and all that was needed and together they would build a fire to warm their homes and cook their meals, and the last person to stay up would have the job of putting it down. Makus always waited for his brother Acui to come and join him in front of the great fire, so that they would put it out together, but it was always him alone that watered the ashes so that fire would not be reborn.

VI

As time passed we saw the mortality of the Hearthborns was far lesser than our own, that was what probably marked their lives and so, to use the little time they had they explored and learned as much as they could, and I always loved that about them. They would build with logs and trunks little homes in which the families would sleep together. We saw them come and go, and their own personal way of everlasting was through the other Hearthborns born from inside of them, a creation made out of love. They named their children after the land that welcomed them when they were born, and they would sail in canoes with their families even before they would learn how to walk. We have always feared the waters, for they are the ancient force before Ulamineska and us, for it is the opposite of what gave birth to this glorious land, but the Hearthborns seemed greatly at peace with it, they would live from it and feed from it, they were more at peace by the shore than by the trees.
But the trees were our home, and under their cover the people would seek us out for our knowledge and help, and we would help them so the land that gave us birth would live at peace. Soon, I suppose grateful for our support, Ulamineska gifted my sisters and I with spiritual companions; never will I forget when I chanced to look upon the eyes of my deer, he looked back at me and into my soul and my form, and in our minds and in our hearts we would be forever connected. Sonja had settled her eyes on a brown owl and Skylar on a fox, and they would share with us great wisdom and guidance, as well as love and support, and with them, we reached even greater knowledge and practice, soon the Hearthborns that would come to the forest to learn not in their lifetimes could learn as much as we. Soon, nonetheless, the ones who came seeking for knowledge such as ours, began to connect with other animals as well, and would follow our footsteps, or they would be closer to Hánuxa and her strange magic, or they would go to my Mimir and learn of the future, past and present, about fate and prophecies.

VII

We hadn't realized how far away we have drift off from our cousins the Hearthborns until we perchance found ourselves tangled in the personal story of a particular one. Dabi came to us in the forest seeking for help, for she found herself in a trap, where a man whom she had been had gotten her pregnant so as to ensure their romantic union in marriage, but she did not love him, she said to us, and I understood. Of course, we knew of a way, we know all, so we helped her end what was inside her womb to leave before it's time, and she was a free woman again. Never were we thanked so, and we had gained a friend who would visit us often to tell of her daily tales, of course my sisters and I did not refuse this friendship and rejoiced in what knowledge we could gather from the lady, for we were now foreigners of the costumes the people outside the forest had. A day came in which she told us, she was in love with another man, her face painted with long lines, she told of how he had brought wood to the family home, thus clearing their new relation.
Dabi didn't take long in falling pregnant again, and this time my sisters and me helped her have her child, as Sonja delivered the baby Skylar laid next to her in her same position as if she were also giving birth, to accompany her. I cut the cord, like so many times before, and made an amulet for it and gave it to the mother, who gracefully held her new son, born beneath a Kuturn, and so he was named after the place he was born. But before we could find a guardian spirit to protect the boy, Sonja stood up and felt how the boys soul was taken away from him, Dabi former lover using dark powers had stolen his soul and ran away so fast Sonja could not catch him. The mother held her child while it was still living, and I set off to find the father as Sonja the perpetuator as Skylar stayed with Dabi and Kuturn, and what I found was horrible and outrageous, Dabi's lover was dead inside his very own home, the blood slowly leaking from his chest. I came back beneath the Kuturn tree to tell of the death and so did Sonja, for the killer had jumped to the water and drowned so that she could not take back the soul that was not his, but his own was probably still swimming in the water, undisturbed, unpunished. Dabi wept and wept and her sadness new no end, for her lover and now her child were dead. We painted her face and told the people of her story, and saw how the elder lighted fires and sang a song of mourning, and she sang it too, and we learnt it, and sang it too.

lit a fire

lit a fire

for a dear one

went away

to join the wind and trees.

paint your sorrow

paint your sorrow

paint your face

so he will know

that we're hurt and yet rejoice.

And in breeze and rain

and in night or dawn

he will sing amongst the birds.

With the leaves and waves

in the snow or spring

He will dance all night and day.

In the river

in the river

in the river or the seas

his spirit will be dancing

Lit a fire

(painted faces)

Lit a fire

(in the river)

Lit a fire

for our dear

who dances in the water.

(lyrics by Kalen López)

VIII
Myth adaptation 

IX

The first war

X

Stars don't live forever

This is the island of the lost

Where am I? Nothing, but a lost island. I look around and all I find is sea, water calm and still, and the night has fallen dark on my surroundings. It is cold and breezy, and I am wearing nothing but a dream. No stars in the sky tonight, I don't know where I am. In my hair there are twigs and branches, no sense in trying to brush it, so many knots it would hurt. I know how I got here, I swam in the sea of hope while it was still day, and then the sun began to dawn and I found this earth, and now that the night fell, I am nothing but a lost hope. Could I wait until the light of day? Oh, how comforting is the sun, I remember it, how it plays with the skies and paints it with all the colours. But now there is nothing but black and cold. I am a dream, all I do is think, I can put myself together and create something beautiful, I can make art out of sadness and the hollow, but on this island I see nothing to work with. This is the island of the lost, I decided, and here I am broken. How long will the night last, how long can I stand without the sun? A dream unseen is a dream that does not exist, and all I want to do is shine. But I am lost. I touch the water with my foot, it's even colder than the air, and it burns with it's icy waves. A dream always knows what to do, a dream can always find the way around, but how to create a lead, if there is no light? I am lost, and I am alone. Where have all the other dreams gone? How did I divide from the rest so drastically without noticing? I thought we were swimming together, but now I think, I lost my way from them. How did my hair got so messy? I should try to brush it, even if it hurts, but now, I don't want to. I don't want to do nothing, I can't seem to find the inspiration without my beautiful skies. I am alone. I think, this way, I will fade away before the lights come again, how does a lost, broken dream survives alone? How do I live, without someone to dream me? I try to dream myself, I myself have become the subject I tend to work on; something sad. But how do I convert myself into something beautiful? I don't have any tools on this island, how come I have swam all my way here without anything other than me? What a foolish little dream I am.

I put my feet in the water again, it's icy cold but still. My feet will eventually get used to it, as I will get used to the loneliness, but oh, how I don't want to be alone, not on this starless night. I don't mind being on my own if there is sunlight, or moonlight, if there is wind to play with, and autumn leaves to paint with. But how lost I am, how am I to survive? I have been forgotten, or hated, my dreamer left me to die, surely, without someone to dream me, how not to fade away? Remember me, oh, remember me, dreamer, bring me back sunlight, give me a clear sky, give me the light with which I'll make the way, I know I can, I am the best at finding hope, I'll help you, only, believe in me, please. Don't forget me, don't let me go, don't hate me. I don't want to die.

What a selfish dream I am. But what else could I do right now, there is nothing to look at. I can't feel my feet anymore. I am scared, I live the twigs and branches untouched on my knotty hair, and my feet are still on the water. I lay down on the sand of this small island, and I look up, but there is nothing more than black.

I feel like my eyes are closed, but they are not. What difference would it make? I close my eyes, and I feel sleepy, so I fall into slumber.

And as I sleep

I disappear 

the alliterative T poem

There is something
That I want to tell to all who I know
That I want to write and shout and sing
Though I know of the power of words
The power of giving away something so deep and my own
That it can seize to exist and vanish just as I say it
That it can make it all go away and cause my happiness to perish
There is a reason why I don't tell it or write it or shout it or sing it, I am afraid
That it might go away
Though I believe, writing it here, could do no harm
That is, I think this time it can be
That this time it could be real
That it is possible for me, that it could happen, and it just might,
That things are going well so far, and funnily, I don't know what to do
Things have never reached this far and I am so used to misery and loneliness
This situation is a stranger to me
Thus I fear, I fear hope, I fear failure, I feel the perish of my own heart and happiness
Traveling from my mind down into my soul there is something that is happening that is new
This is what I want to shout. I think this time it might be.
This time it is possible, and my hopes and dreams may conquer the misfortune
That this world ruled by irony always threw upon me

The hollow girl

Sleeping creatures

I'm in love with the sleeping
How their corpses slowly yet firmly demonstrate each breath
How the factions on their faces is calm and neutral
How delicate and fragile they seem
It's beautiful
Their chests rising and falling
Their breath so marked and constant, never failing, never changing
It has a unique beauty
And it wakes in me a need to protect, to keep them warm, not to let any shadow get to them, so they can keep sleeping
And keep on being beautiful
And I stay vigilant as I observe with love my sleeping protegee
I wonder if my love is only there while they sleep
If I can hold them forever in my protection
If I could watch their slow breathing forever

a photography of words

I love sunsets. Even when the sun is already gone.

The clouds all low and the clear blue sky in all shades from light to dark.

And that occasional star, that might as well be a planet further off.

The vapor coming from the chimney of the ridiculously green house at front.

The clouds are darker than the very sky, I can't stop looking at this sight

With the tears of rain in my window and the green wet grass not far

It all has such a sense of possibility, just staring feels like magic

Like an infinite little moment where the picture freezes 

And you don't think about anything, except the very thing you are observing

And you wouldn't like anything else in the world

And you don't want this moment to ever stop,

Not for the deep night to fall, nor the next day to come

Just this frozen moment; a photograph of words

The tree in front which I always see change with the seasons

The street light turned on, enlightening the pavement and the cars parked outside

And inside I am in this couch, it's colour hard to describe

And my cat has come to say hullo, 

And I must leave

For nothing is eternal.

Inspiration comes to me when I'm tired,
When I'm about to doze off and lie in bed; words, melodic phrases and images of beauty come to my mind
And I simply go to sleep, imagining that the morrow the feeling will wait for me still as it was the eve, and I shall produce those images into what people may or may not call art.
This never happens. This images and words of melody are so ephemeral...if you don't catch the glimpse of them and imprint them in the moment to make them last forever, they shall leave forevermore
And not a soul will know of them, because even I will forget.
For I am tired, and I fall asleep, with no will power to stand up and write things down. And so like a ghost this pictures in my mind and the sentences with them fly away like a dandelion's seed in a valley of opportunities, finding a place to root.

The charmed book

PART 1
WAXING MOON

1

The mystery of the book

Prescilla was nine years old when the charmed book opened. The event was a complete surprise, but she was waiting for it. It all happened due to a chain of events, that would better be explained from the beginning. And so by the sweeping of the pages of this old book the memories of what was before came to her mind, Yvette was right, Prescilla thought.

The Forester family lived in Blackthorn Road, in the outsides of Canterbury, England. It was a small good family, just like any other.

This family was composed firstly by the father, who was a policeman and worked in London. He was a man who took care of his family and fought the dangers and put nasty people into jail. He liked to think of himself as a detective, and he was a huge fan of Scooby Doo. He liked reading, watching movies and playing videogames (it reminded him of his childhood). Although he was a very brave man, he had the best taste in music, he loved some good rock music and not that thing people call music, rap for him was outrageous. He enjoyed rock & roll and loved his old car, but more than this he loved his wife.

She was a very strong, independent and passionate woman; she was very clever and humble. She was in between jobs mostly.
She had brown-dyed hair and dark eyes, her hair-length reached her shoulders and no further, she was a bit short compared to her husband, but most woman are, right?
What she loved was drawing Zen-art, and inviting friends over to her house and being the great host she was

The father and the mother had a daughter called Prescilla, their little girl who liked reading and adventures, the little girl who, when their cat died and they buried it in the backyard, every night she would lock all the doors and windows, fearful of the cat turning into a zombie. Prescilla had long curly blond hair, and blue eyes like her father’s. She used to like dressing up and playing with the children of her mom’s friends. Prescilla amongst all her toys and stuffed Spiderman; her favourite toys were Morph and Bunny.

This was the normal family that lived in the end of Blackthorn road, in their two-stored house with a car for her mother and other for her father, and his special vintage car saved in the garage.

But besides these little things the Foresters were really good people, so not much bad happened to them, until her mother’s health gave a terrible turn, and she got worse.

What gave this family a very special touch was the fact that since Prescilla could remember, her parents had applied for receiving students from other countries as guests in their house. Prescilla was 6 years old when a very special visit came to her home, she was more than used to those girls from all around the world staying in her house, coming and going, she had this folder in which she wrote about the places where they came from, with the flags, the languages and all.

Her mom just had her hand operated when two girls from some south-american countries came for 3 weeks, usually the girls didn’t stay that long, so maybe she could get to know this new girls well. They spoke good English, Prescilla realized about this because some girls would just not talk much, or speak in their own language only, or just lock themselves in their own room.

Prescilla was really happy with the girls; the youngest was thirteen, named Kernel, with curly hair the colour of walnut and green eyes, she usually was away from the house busy with her classmates, but she still got time to talk and play with her. The oldest was sixteen, she was named Yvette and she made her a drawing on the day they met, it was Prescilla dressed as an astronaut, they put it on the fridge. Yvette had red hair and light brown eyes, her skin was so white you’d imagine she came from the Antarctica. She was always happy and liked walking through Blackthorn Road in the morning to see the sunrise and the hooting of the owls from the trees, and she loved it when she found cats in the neighbourhood.

In the weekend of the second week, Prescilla’s mom had to get her shoulder operated, just when it was Bunny’s birthday! Apparently the girls had the day off, and while the youngest went for a walk with her mates and teacher, Yvette stayed to draw and spend time with the family. Of course Prescilla invited her to Bunny’s birthday party, she made an invitation and all. Then she helped her foreign friend to chose a gift for Bunny from her bedroom, she chose a book. When it was about time they came to Bunny’s party, which was at the living room, they played, they danced, and then it was scheduled to see a movie.

“Have you ever seen Spiderwick?” Asked Prescilla.
“No, I have not, what is it about?” Said Yvette with a smile.
“Oh, you’ll see” She laughed, and put the movie and sat together in the couch to see it.

This movie woke several thoughts in Yvette’s mind, like “Those earthling movies, so creative, so imaginative, I love them.” It also made her consider something that would change everything, or nothing. She looked at Prescilla, who was immersed in the movie, she seemed like a curious clever girl, the kind of girl who is brave enough to explore the lands where Yvette REALLY was from.

When the movie had finished, the travelling girl felt the urge to do it, and as she couldn’t help herself, she said it.

“I’ve got something for you, it is something I have that this movie reminded me of, wait here while I go fetch it” And she blinked an eye to Prescilla as she disappeared from sight. When she came back, she was holding a book; a very old-looking book, very beautiful and strange. “This, Prescilla, is a Charmed book. There are very few like this and little who know how to read it and use it, I want you to have it, I have another copy at home. Maybe one day, when the right time comes you’ll be able to open it, it may be in some years, but still.” Then her smile wasn’t as wide as before “And remember what this movie teaches, adventures and magic comes with a price” She warned, and Prescilla grabbed the book and it was quite heavy, with curious eyes she looked at her friend, she wondered; would she be able to have an adventure like in Spiderwick? “No one, absolutely no one else must know about this book, you keep it to yourself, alright?” Yvette smiled at her “I have a feeling I can trust you with this”.

That was the secret gift Prescilla had that nobody else knew about except for Yvette, who faded away after the three weeks they were staying at her home.

Time passed, other girls from around the world came and left, her mom kept getting more and more operations, and the book was never opened, it seemed as if the book was waiting.

3 years later, Prescilla was 9 years old, and was worried sick about her mother’s health. Her dad one day came to her and told her the inevitable plan of taking her to her granny’s for some time, because her mom had to be in a hospital in London for a while and he was to be with her, and working.

Granny lived in Brighton with Prescilla’s father’s sister. He took his daughter there and after checking everything was all right said farewell, which made Prescilla quite sad because she didn’t want to be without her ma and pa. She suddenly became a very lonely child, far away from her friends, without her mother and father, stuck with two old ladies who didn’t play or talk with her. Her aunt and granny didn’t know how to keep a conversation equal and thought that since she was small they could ignore whatever Prescilla said.

She didn’t forget her charmed book, she always carried it with her, and tried to open it every time she achieved something; like riding a bike on her own, or learning to swim, or having A+ at school. It reminded her of Yvette and Spiderwick, even if it had been so long ago, she always had the hope it would open and she would see what it had that was so charmed and secret.

On a sunny day, her aunt and grandma took her for a walk and left her in the park in front to the Royal Pavilion while they went shopping. Prescilla first got herself into the museum close to the park, hoping it was free and she didn’t have to pay to get inside; it was. She got lost in those rooms full of art and history, and when she found the way out, she sat in the park, observing the tall trees and the protective fences. From her bag (where she carried anything she might need) she took the book, to touch the cover in wonder with her curious little fingers. It had a belt that in the joint it had spikes holding onto the book (which was what kept it closed and un-open-able) it also had a five-pointed star. It was purple-ish brown; the pages were very yellow so it definitely was an old book.

Just in that moment, sitting in the grass observing the book, Prescilla didn’t know why, but the five spikes started to unlock and so the belt was free to be opened and peak inside the book. When she looked around she saw she was alone in the park. The wind was light, there were tourists making line in the Royal Pavilion, and she had the opportunity to finally inspect the secrets hidden inside her book; something she had waited for so long, excitement ran over her and her heart beating fast. It was written in some strange language, but as soon as she laid her fingers on the paper, the words seemed to change and turn into English, still, it had a lot of odd words and complicated names. It had several drawings and it DID remind Prescilla of the Spiderwick field book, because it was handmade, or so it seemed at least.

Inside it had spells, odd spells to hold fire in a crystal bowl and turn into liquid, differences between creatures, the different poisons of a dragon, how to cure a cold with plain grass, it had a lot more and maybe too much for that moment, so she closed it, but did not lock it, and put it back into her bag, fearful it would lock itself again.

Not long after, her aunt came for her in the car, she was with some friend of hers talking about some “interesting” course she took and how good the teacher was and that’s all Prescilla got to listen before her mind swept away into the window car.

“Your father just called; he said your mom just got inside the operation room. I told him we all wish for her best” Said her gran loudly. They were in the dining room and Prescilla was sitting in the table next to the window, reading The chronicles of Narnia, while grandma, aunt and Karen (aunt’s friend) were having a cuppa of tea and chatting. In the next room you could hear the telly on but there never was anyone watching it.
“I once had a friend who died of cancer” Said Karen.
“Oh dear, gosh” Said grandma
“Yes, I remember, she died in the friendship’s national day. I was with her, and just after I left she died and the doctors called me and I had to get back.”
“Dear me!” Said aunt
“I was taking care of her that day, and out of the blue she got nervous and said to me ‘Oh please, don’t leave, I am afraid, I don’t want to die’ and I was all like ‘Heeey, take it easy, you’re not going to die! I won’t leave, it’s ok, it’s ok.’ But it was like, all of a sudden she got all this nervous, you know what I mean?”
“Well, yes, yes, of course. You know, when she gets all…yes, yes, you know? Exactly my point” Said grandma.
“And later at night, her ex was coming to visit her, and I was about to leave the hospital, because my shift was over and another friend was coming to watch out for her, you know?”
“Nah, absolutely. You can’t stay, and you have to shift and you have to take turns and; well, yes, of course.”
“The moment when I left the hospital, her ex hadn’t arrived yet and the doctors had ringed me to tell me she was dead, and it was so fast! I mean I didn’t even had time to do anything, when I left the hospital”
“For Christ’s sake, God save her soul” Said aunt.
“At first, I felt so guilty for her death” Said Karen.
“Well, yes, I imagine, no wonder, feeling guilty after, yeah” Grandma added.

Prescilla thought her grandma couldn’t end and idea of her own, and when talking actually repeated what the other person just said. Tired of listening, she took her book and bag and got off to the backyard and sat there to stare at the clouds.

She always dreamt of travelling, and her pa and ma had promised her they would go to Egypt soon, but her ma’s health got worse and worse. Maybe one day when she’s gotten all better and out of the hospital they could travel to Greece and France and Egypt and all over the world along with her mother and father and be happy.

After staring at the sky, she took another look at the book, she read about guardian ghosts and dancing flowers, which danced in order to hide when danger was coming. It was all so beautiful; it was the world she always dreamt of visiting, it would be like all those worlds on books. She could go in there and turn into the queen and when coming back home, time wouldn’t have passed and she could be with her family and friends, and maybe one day come back. But it was just a book, a book that showed her wonders that would never reach her, that would only help her feel better while her parents were away.

Then, she found it. The very page, of the very book, that would lead her into the adventure.

The corner or the page was folded in order to find the page easy and quick if you needed it. The heading said, “TRAVELLING” but it didn’t say where to. It seemed like one of the spells from the book, but al the others needed stranger things than this one. So Prescilla thought, why not? There was nothing to lose, and it was just chalk that she needed to use. She didn’t know if it was full moon, but she could check it out at night.

That night after having dinner with her grandma, she looked out the window, it wasn’t full moon, but it was really close. So she went out to there anyway. She took the book, the chalk, and in the backyard, the house’s wall was in contact with grass, as it specifically asked in the book it should be that way. It was all perfect.

So she drew a door as tall as her arm could reach, and grabbed the book to read out loud “Darksome nights and shining moon, hearken to my joyous tune. Me who walks between two worlds conjure thee; A boundary to protect, that power raised here be not in vain. Therefore do I bless thee and consecrate thee, to travel free. By the power of moon and sun,” Prescilla looked at the wall, and then at the moon, nothing was happening. “So mote it be” She said at last. But nothing happened.

She sat in the grass, staring at the wall, at her drawn door. She sat there but nothing happened. She didn’t care; she would try again in a few days when it truly was full moon.

Prescilla decided to prepare a bag for her future journey, so along the next few days she stole apples, biscuits, chocolates, sandwiches from her grandmother and then her toothbrush and toothpaste, warm clothes just in case, and of course, the book. She would have taken Bunny and Morph, but she had left them at home, what she deeply regretted. It was then, the night of the full moon; she would know this by watching outside the window every night (every clear night) and see if it was full.

She was playing unblock me in her aunt’s mobile phone when she realized, it was time. She run to her bedroom (she actually slept with her grandmother) and got her rubber boots and her bag and asked permission to go outside and watch the moon, of course this was a strange request to her granny since the moon was such a common thing, but she gave her the permission, anyway.

The moon sat high in the sky, there were clouds all around it menacing of rain and storm, but it was quite cool. She turned to the wall and saw the old drawing of her door, and tried to erase it with her sweater, which didn’t work at all that much but it was well enough for her. The pressure made with the chalk this time was far stronger, as to mark the difference from the old one.

And so Prescilla began the ritual, which, this time, was far different from the first time, when her voice recited the chant, the wind began to whirl and make the grass flatten against all directions, and give her the chills, as she continued the speech (though shouting, for the wind increased and was getting stronger) and apple-greenish light appeared through the lines of chalk in the wall, and you could see no more chalk in it, for the light was getting stronger as well as the wind did, and for a moment all Prescilla could see was light, but she kept trying to say the words until the end.

“So mote it be!” She cried, for she felt she wouldn’t listen herself in the overwhelming sound of the wind. And there was no light coming out from the door, and the wind ceased, and the only thing she could pay attention now was…the wooden door that lay just in front of her. She couldn’t believe her eyes (but since she wanted to believe, she actually did). The charm had worked! That travelling door was right in front of her, and of course she was now ready to go.

It was so silent, you could hear the flight of a butterfly, or Prescilla’s breath, or most important, her heart beats, because her little heart was beating so fast that she stretched her arm into the door knock and as she held her breath when she turned it, there was the click of the opening. She pushed it.

The man in the room

There once was a man; quite thin, quite tall. He enjoyed all the little things in life and the view from the park.

This man was in a room; quite small, quite closed. It was made of wood and had a Morning Glory Vine roof.

He sat there, thin and tall, in his house made of wood. His chair, he made it himself, his hands were rough and skilled, though his arms where long and thin.

The wooden house, covered in Morning Glory Vine, had only one window. It had four corners, no kitchen, no loo. The man was sitting there in the chair he made himself; he was looking out of the window.

Out of the window the man saw the Morning Glory Vine, all kind of little bugs walking on it. Further off were trees and grass, and a sky the man could not watch.

He sat there, thin and tall, looking to his Morning Glory Vines and the trees further off. His own chair below him, and books all around him. The house with one room was made of wood and it had nothing but a chair and loads of books.

The window was broad and wide, the trees were green outside. The house made of wood with a Morning Glory Vine roof, was in the middle of the field, surrounded by the trees. This room, it had no door, no way out.

The room with the man in it, not only it was made of wood, it was also warm. For the man, it all lasted forever, his eternal watch to the outside, but with his mind on the chair he made with his own hands. His hands where rough and skilled, though his arms where long and thin.

The man in the room was sitting there, all alone, with a window to the past and loads of books. He was alone; he could not help it, yet he did not build a door. This man, quite thin, quite tall, he was ephemeral, one moment he was there, the next moment he wasn’t.

So fleeting, so perishable, so light, so ephemeral. Did he, himself even existed? He was once a man, and he enjoyed all the little things in life and the view from the park.

He sat there in the room he made himself with the chair he made himself, with his so skilful hands, and he looked through his window on his own, thinking, thinking about what, about everything! About the Morning Glory Vine that grew on his house, about the books all around, about that warmth and yet that cold, about the past and about the future.

He spent his life in the introspection of his house; there wasn’t an inch he did not know, the carved wood, every leaf in the Morning Glory Vine, his books, the window.

And yet every second lasted like centuries in that glorifying view of everything he craved for. Life was so still, there in the meadow. Life begun and death attacked. Cycles and cycles repeating again and again, the man in the room with Glory Morning Vines in the roof wondered, would there be a day when the world would die?

All alone staring out of the window in that house made of wood, he thought of someone he used to know, and a place he used to live in, and someone he used to be, and he thought how happy he was and he thought how sad he was. Because, for the man in the room, there is no happiness without sadness, and no sadness without happiness. The man both smiled and cried, and he sat still in the chair he made himself, with his hands so skilled.

It was all so still, so quiet, so soundless. He wondered if he was alive or if he was dead, he wondered what happens when we die and what happens before we are born, he wondered if he would ever see them again, if he would ever sleep eat or breathe again, if he would ever speak aloud again, if he would meet the end of his loneliness, if he would ever find a place to call home, if he would ever build anything again. He wondered.

Was there an end to infinity? How broad was the mind?

His house was small, because in a closed space you feel a little bit less lonely and yet you are completely alone to yourself. There was comfort in the small, it was cosy and it was warm. The Morning Glory Vine made it look both old and wise. The window let him see all he ever wished to see, both sad and happy things, and yet all so still.

There once was a man; quite thin, quite tall. He enjoyed all the little things in life and the view from the park.

Los & Anul (sketch)

“Ok, I’ll keep my promise, little girl, but only if you make a promise yourself”
Halle walked back for a second “and what would that promise be?” She said untrustful.
“Keep me company, at least until sunset. It gets really lonely sometimes.” Halle looked at him perplexed (but couldn’t really stare at him for much)
“ok, I’ll stay” And she sat in that spot. And felt how Los sat in his spot, burning a little bit the grass around him. And she saw how the long line of sunshine that came from him rose high in the sky, and he kept eating and drinking nonstop.
“It’s Anul, you know? You never know what to expect from her next. “He said after a long silence. Halle didn’t say anything, so he kept talking “One day she is a full moon, and a week and a half later It’s like if she isn’t there at all, it’s madness, she is madness. She is so changeable.”
“Aren’t we all?” Said Halle.
“No, I never change. I AM LOS! I am a sun, I shine every day the same way, you always know what to expect of me, at the same time everyday, always from the east. I am manly and I never change.”
“You and Anul are nothing alike” She observed
“No, we are not. She drives me crazy sometimes, and other times, she is just…so beautiful and charming, she is a weird thing she is, Anul.”
“I think that is what keeps you together, being so different from each other”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say we are together, she’s so unpredictable, sometimes it seems like we are, others, we are fighting all the time, we have some big rows at times, but other times she is so irresistible. She makes me so confused.”
Halle thought it was a really complicated relationship, and said nothing else, she watched the sky and the birds petting Eyolf when after a while Los talked again.
“Anul sometimes makes me company, and I shine really bright and happy for her, other times she just sleeps while I am awake, we don’t meet very often. It’s nice to have company.” And then, as the sun was going into the far west, he started mumbling, and he fell asleep. The brightness of his body almost faded away, until it was just a glimmer, like the light in the sky that’s left even when the sun isn’t there anymore. And Halle could look at him now, and his skin wasn’t like lava anymore, it was brown and soft, and he still was really big with his strong muscles and hard shaped face. It was funny to see people sleeping, so she stayed. Just when she was thinking about leaving with Eyolf, there came a noise from the bushes, it was dark already, and the stars began to shine, and a light blue light came from the trees, and it was unmistakable that she was seeing now Anul. And she was the most beautiful woman Halle has ever seen, and she felt horribly jealous of Anul. She wasn’t at all like Los, you could look at her, and it would be hard to stop staring, she shone bright and she was smiling with white teeth to Halle, but then looking at Los.
Anul had a skin as white as the snow and her hair was curly and black, and when she moved it floated and it looked like she had little stars tangled in her curls, like the night sky. She was wearing a navy blue dress, so fragile and beautiful, and her eyes were light blue, and looked like she was having fun, she came closer to Halle and Los.
“He’s a lost case, isn’t he? I thought it could help him not to eat as much, you know, he only gains weight and that’s not nice. But I guess you can’t change him, as much as you want to. When not eating, sleeping, when not sleeping, eating.” She gave a laugh that sounded so nice Halle could be hearing it all day. “I am Anul, by the way. But I suppose you imagined it” “Halle Karena” She said, smiling.
“Oh, who would have said so. It’s not everyday you meet a heroine. Well, it’s not everyday you meet a human” She laughed again
“Sorry, why don’t you keep him company all the time?”
“Oh, I feel a little shy at times you see, and I guess that’s the way it works, when we spend much time together we tend to eclipse, you know” She looked at Los and then at the east, where the moon was rising and the stars were starting to shine. “I think you should be going back, little girl. Not every day I am in the mood to talk to someone, you should be glad, and I am feeling good today, because it was really boring to see Los in that hole all day and not knowing what to do about it, so as a thank you gift, I will shine bright so you find your way back with no problems.”
“thank you!”
“Farewell, young heroine.”
“Farewell Anul”

Character idea

SHADOW-WALKERS

The shadow walkers are people, just like other people, but they can jump in space.
This comes with restrictions, so means that they can only appear on shadows and reflexes such like windows. The shadow walkers are known for caring very little about any other than themselves. And they can use other people's shadows at will without them noticing, you can summon one into your own shadow but it is highly unlikely that they will come unless they find a particular interest for themselves.
They have many abilities that are hidden to the community. They do not own any familiars (as in animal familiars).


Will also belong to The Sign Of Five saga

Death is in love with me

         p r o l o g u e

And after falling such a long way down, it hit my head so hard, everything became blurry.  My breathing stopped and I fell into a long sleep

Would it have worked, after all those trials, my attempts to kill myself?

I realized it wasn’t like that, when I opened my eyes again, and few seconds later, my head starts pounding with strength; I try to figure out, where I was

I was sitting in a chair, a very comfortable chair, and…there were a lot of Rocks, like if it were a huge cave, mostly red colors filtered the…lets call it room.

After that, I realized, I wasn’t alone in my comfortable chair.

There were all these…creatures all around me, Looked like humans, but all…greener and some parts fallen or broken, some bones were out of their body…

I think… 

The right way to call them were…

Z o m b i e s

    C H A P T E R

 O N E .

 born to die

There are two kinds of people in the World.

After so, are the varieties.

I guess you would be guessing which one I’m going to say. Is it good, or bad? Is it people who believe and people who don’t? People with Powers, and normal people?

Not at all.

Those are part of the variations.

What I am talking about, it’s the main division about people, the people who watch, and the people who play.

I’m guessing you weren’t expecting that

Even do, I don’t care about what you think, I can see that now that I told you, I have to explain it to you.

To summarize,

the watchers observe life.

The players live life.

The watchers are the kind of people who watch others be. The watchers watch the players play. They observe the way of life, reactions, strategies, lies, truth, they, see it all. They tend to be comprehensive, thoughtful closed people, introverted. They like to hear what others have to say, and psychoanalyze the human being mind, but the don’t like to speak about themselves.

Thereafter, are the players. They have no idea about the existence of the watchers; actually, they don’t pay attention to anything that isn’t their game. They only care about THEIR game. The rules, the moves, sometimes the other players, to cheat or not to cheat, to break the rules, to join another player with a common enemy to assure your winning, to trust or not to trust, and who is using you to win.

Winning is, after all, all they care about.

They are, completely different from each another; here is where the variants are applied.

Most of the people are players.

Here are the odds:

69% are players, 30% are watchers.

I know, I know.

You are MORE THAN DYING to know the other one percent.

The other one are watchers.

But ones that got tired of watching, or realized that they may have been wasting their life’s and feel like they learned enough to go and try to win the game. So decided to start playing.

But, you think it’s that easy to go from one side to another? They just can’t help it, they are who they are, they play, but they are always watching. Players envy them because of they great skills on not getting into trouble or understanding things a common player doesn’t know. Obviously they are quite bipolar.Since they are the perfect mix between a player and a watcher.

Anyways that’s only a one percent, so there is a VERY VERY tiny chance you ever met one. Sure you think I’m part of the one percent.

No I am not.

At least, I don’t consider myself a watcher who plays.

And if you Judge by my text that explains the different things about the players and the watchers, it mean that I’m not a player.

I guess, I am a watcher.

All these I was thinking while taking a bath with Persephone, my favorite being in the whole World.

My boyfriend? No.

My cat.

My beautiful Black cat, which has the same age I did, I was going to turn 16 in a week. And tomorrow I would be starting preparatory. That really sucked, its supposed to be for my Benefit, for my future, to whatever I’m going to work so I can buy the food and clothes I need to for living.

Anyways, I was practically sure I would already have been dead by then. Not for these week, but before I get to finish the preparatory, anyways if I get to die this week, it would be wonderful.

I feel so damn old.

I knew my face was ‘young’ yet, but I was sure that it wouldn’t be for long.

I liked staying at the bathtub for hours, thinking about life. It was like if time actually didn’t run. And it was funny to see persephone swimming in it; it was a crazy beautiful cat. He liked water.

-BERETT? –The angry voice of my granny sounded once again like an alarm clock- GET OUT FROM THE BATHROOM NOW. IT’S BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF ALREADY; YOU ARE LEAVING THE WORLD WITHOUT WATER IF YOU CONTINUE LIKE THAT. AND PLEASE STOP BATHING WITH THAT CAT, ITS NOT HIGIENIC!

-I KNOW! –I answered, then submerged into the water for few seconds and stand up to close the water tank.

I could hear my grandma saying ‘miracle!’ from outside the bathroom. It didn’t make fun for me.

Persephone kept on playing with the water while it would be running down the pipes. I grabbed a towel stacked to the bathroom door and covered myself with it. I always used like 4 to 5 towels after a bath.

One for the floor, so the cold tiles wouldn’t bother me,

one for the body, one more for the hair, and the other two for persephone.

As soon as I finished rolling the towel on my head and Left a towel on the top of a chair so persephone could stand there without washing up everything. I grab him out of the little water there was Left and took him to the chair and with the other towel I started drying out his black hair. He loved it when I did that.

Whenever I thought I couldn’t dry more with the towel, I would grab his brush and start brushing his hair while I dry his hair with the hair dryer, he would just loved it more, he would play with its little wind and felt like he was flying. What a weird cat.

I would stay hours with the ‘ turban’ in my head. So when my little cat was Ready I would take with him to my room and he would help me choose my clothes.

There wasn’t any variations on the colors, I Only had Black skinny jeans, t-shirts with stamps from my favorite bands, such as Linkin park, flyleaf, paramore, HIM, iron Maiden, Metallica, muse, ac dc, Pink floyd and others like those, Black boots, and well…everything black. Well, at least that way my granny would not jerk with me for the cat’s hair.

-HURRY UUUP! IT’S LUNCH TIME BERETT! –My grandma shouts again. - WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO HURRY YOU UP?

-COMMING! - I answered. Not that she was depth or anything. But if she shouts me I would shout back. I just hated when people hurried me up.

My grandmother was living with me (I’m not going to say that I lived with her, because this is MY and my parents house) because like 10 years ago my mom and dad went all the way to Australia to study some… fish crap or something. They are biologists and they are trying to find some new… thing. Who knows. Sometimes like, trice a year, I would receive letter from them, I don’t know why didn’t they send mails, isn’t there Internet in Australia or something? Anyways there were very short, wishing my best and telling about their Studies and the people they met.

When I finished dressing, I made my way to the computer. I open Blogger, afterwards I opened Twitter and after so I open persephone’s Facebook. He has more friends than i do.

-BERETT! - She shout again.

-I KNOOOW! - I shouted angrily, without knowing how to turn off that freaking alarm that woman had in her mouth.

On the desk I found persephone’s sleigh bell necklace, so I grab it, and quickly he came so I Could put it on his neck. He always, wears it proudly.

-BE---

-COMING!

I opened the door and he quickly run down to the kitchen where his food was waiting for him. I walked slowly to the dinning room to realize, I had to put on the table. Of course, that was why she would be hurrying me up so much. So I went to the kitchen and took the plates and glasses and the forks and knives and spoons and the soda on the table.

I sat down and saw granny coming with roast beef with lettuce.

While eating I wondered about the poor cows.

I mean, when the cows are nervous while you kill them, you can totally see it when you are eating it. But then I came to my senses.

Cows are actually raised to be killed, so somehow, they should all know it from the start, that once they get fat and big, they will be killed to feed humans. And while they don’t get killed, they get milked, to feed humans as well. Poor cows. Who is killing anything to feed them? No one. What a selfish being human can be.

Then I wondered.

what kind of person would grandma be?

I think she is a player. But she is quite old, so her game must have ended… still she is no watcher.

i guess she is a player who doesn’t know what to do now that her game is over. Actually, not so over, since it ends when you die.

Like if that where far from what awaits her.

-meaaaw –persephone was looking at me, sitting straight on the chair next to me from the circular table. His green eyes were looking directly into mines.

I watched my plate, I wasn’t going to eat anymore so I move it to his side were he stand up in two feet and started eating the rest of the meat.

-BERETT! How can you let that CAT eat your food?

-I wasn’t going to eat anymore …

-ANYWAYS! Don’t you know there are poor people in the World? You can’t throw food like that! – She said. I didn’t get it, I wasn’t throwing it away, actually, and if I get to know any poor person, I would go and feed him or her with whatever I don’t want to eat…

-Sorry –I rolled my eyes, not meaning what I said. –I’m going to my bedroom. –I looked at persephone so he would follow me, but he stayed staring at my grandma. He did that every time she would somehow offended him.

I started walking back to my bedroom and when I was bout to go inside, I heard him jumping from the chair and running back inside the room.

I started to write all about what I thought in the bathroom and at lunch on my blog. I do it because it’s more comfortable than a secret diary and anyways; I know no one reads it. And if someone does, well, it Works for bothering him with strange questions about life and my points of view, no one likes. Is it so hard to find someone who thinks like me, other than persephone.

I spent all day blogging, watching Pink Floyd videos on youtube and updating some pics on persephone’s Facebook.

I also started preparing the bag for the beginning of school. Like, 4 note books in case I would like to draw, or write down any interesting thoughts. My dear pencil case everything in my Evanescence bag.

After having dinner I went to bed, perséfone sleeping next to me.

Tomorrow would be a VERY VERY VERY VEERY long day.

Maybe I Could pull off the idea of making new friends. Of course, it was an impossible thing for me to pull off. God. I am being way TOO optimistic about school, I now I wont make any friends, that’s why thank god I have little persephone.

I spent the night watching him watch me until I fell asleep.

All of a sudden I felt all my face wet and something kind of sharpie and at the same time funny making me more wet, then it stopped. I opened my eyes and there he was, waking me up.

-meooow – he said while turning his head around like if he were smiling

-Morning- I smiled he walked down the bed and went to his little bathroom. I did the same, but in the bathroom for humans. I washed my face, and brushed my long Black hair, which blocked the view from my left eye, but I liked it that way. I put on my eyeliner and Dressed up.

I walked all the way to the kitchen with persephone next to me on every step and gave him his breakfast, and then I prepared myself a tea with French toast and had breakfast together. I wondered why cats like that food. I tried it a million times and didn’t like it. Well, its not that it tastes ugly, but the fact that it tastes like AIR… there is no fun in eating that.

It was 6 and a half AM

persephone was the best alarm clock ever. He knew how to wake me up in a good mood. Anyone else would make always the same mistakes and I would be whipping and shouting all morning because of my bad mood. Plus, my grandma would wake up at 7 and a half, which meant PEACE.

I admit I owe my little cat all mornings of my life. He also hates when he is disturbed while sleeping. He understands me better than anyone.

But still, I started feeling nervous about school. I just started checking my bag twice every ten minutes, checking my make up was in the same place than before and continually brushing my hair.

Then I came back to my senses.

Why the hell would I care about those fucking things, if no one were going to look at me anyways? And I wasn’t looking for anyone to look at me actually. And if someone did, why would I care? I relaxed and watched TV with him.

Then grandma Woke up and started screaming around the house like any other day. Anyways I already had my mp4 on so she couldn’t entirely bother me. I waited for her to finish breakfast while I was asking deep questions in form spring to my followers who think I am persephone.

Then it was time. Time to go to school, time to began a new stage of my life, time to see if it is worth it to live, or if I should just suicide.

The worst part was that I couldn’t take perséfone with me, if I just could take him with me it would all be so much better.

Damn school.

I enjoyed the loooong car trip to the preparatory and went to the secretary with my grandma were they gave me a map of the school and the paper with all my timings, so I went to my first classroom and grandma left with her ‘best greetings’.

Of course it was really early, so there was no one in the classroom. Even do I saw bags on some tables.

I choose a table in the back were nobody would bother me and I wouldn’t bother anyone, where I could observe the whole classroom and it’s dynamics, where I could see, without being seen. So I started making scarps and writing, for my blog. I guess I was… a Blogger? Or some kind of emo-blogguer. Who cared? Nobody read it. Not even mom.

After thinking that, something really scared me. Two things were written in my page where I was drawing scraps, while a tiny voice read what those things were wrote.

-HI! :D - I Looked a side. There was a girl with a turquoise pen threatening me of writing more Words in MY page. -What is your name? –She has this great smile in her face. Kind of annoying.

-…My name is Berett…-I responded her; she had this really big bow on her head. Its was purple and Black and had a Skull in it. A very ‘cute’ Skull. The Skull had big Black eyes and Pink cheekbones. I found it kind of funny. The girl had colored hair, purple, Pink and turquoise.

-OOOHHH so AWSOME! My name is Kaelin – she smiled again. Pink lipstick and lots of Black eyeliner – Kaelin Rooks, can I? –She took a sit next to me.

Did that meant I just made a friend? I didn’t considered… ‘Kaelin’ a friend, I barely know her. She was very slim wearing skinny Black jeans a purple t-shirt and a turquoise jacket. Weirdo.

-I like your drawings. – She said. I looked at my page. All I did was a Skull. But…a REALÍSTIC one… - I draw a lot too, want to see? – Where did THAT came from?

-I guess...-She interrupted me before I could end the phrase, taking her bag onto her lap, a Black bag with pins and plushies hanged from it. It Looked really heavy, like if in there she were taking 4 folders, 6 pencil cases 2 notebooks and GOD know what else.

She took a folder with a White block inside it. Well…not so White. It was pretty colorful, full of drawings. She handed it to me and said

-You are new here, right? – i nodded – yeah, me too – i watched carefully her drawings. Watercolors, most of them.

Very talented, Very variated.

-so Rooks, why did you came here with me instead of anyone else? – She Looked really shocked at the sound of her last name. She took her hair and played with it while thinking.

-ahmms… you seem like a nice girl, and also quite. And everybody else would go on and on with those freaking stereotypes. I thought maybe you would understand, and I tend to stay cool with…calm people. Like you seem to be– she explained.

Maybe ...a watcher? Maybe… a player?

But this wasn’t a strange case like my grandma, I Could see she psychoanalyzed me in few seconds to see what kind of person I was, yet, she cant stand it alone. Was I lucky enough to find a watcher who plays? It seemed like I did.

-Fine. –I gave her my ‘permission’ she smiled and started drawing some more, pretty quiet.

For a moment when I saw her I thought she would be like, a really heavy kind of person, like, she would talk to me all day long. Yet she stay cool, silent, Spoke when she thought it would be smart and necessary, I liked her.

After all, I knew she would follow my lead, and we would team up on gym and other group works. That was the good thing about a friend at school.

-Oh, I forgot to ask you. – Rooks said. I looked at her, wondering what was that she wanted to ask about me. – What is your last name? –She smiled – since you’ve been calling me all day long for my last name, like dad used to do, I thought it would be funny if I called you by your last name.

-Pawns. –I said. It was kind of funny actually, how both of our last names matched chess parts. But it seemed like she didn’t realized.

-Oh…well, I prefer Berett. – She said, expecting something more interesting as an answer.

-Me too.

-So why do you call my by my last name? –She explained her wonder to me.

-Don’t know. I think its funny, and I fit you. –She smiled for a pinch of a second.

-It kind of does. All my father family blood with the last name Rooks have this…strange personality, and we all call ourselves by our last name, so its kind of funny, when we are al together having dinner and someone says ‘Rooks, hand me the salt’ and everybody looks and tries to reach the salt.

I wonder how would that feel like. It’s been like 10 years since I don’t have a family dinner.

-So what happened to your father? –She looked at me surprised, and then let go. She realized I could see more than normal people. Anyways I don’t know if she would call them ‘watchers’ as I do. Maybe she had her own way of defining it, or maybe didn’t even bother on putting a name to it.

-He died on a car crash 2 years ago. – Again, I wondered what it felt like to see a family member die, especially one you loved as much as I could see she loved her father- I miss him so much. We were so close – it felt like she was about to cry, but she didn’t, less than a second after the phrase, she just put a poker face and let go of the pain.

Funny.

-sooooo……I have to go –she was smiling once again. – bye Berett! –She runs away from me when a blue car parked in front of the school entrance.

-Good-bye. – I said softly while I saw her leaving, and sat down on the floor.

The hours went away. I looked at my clock impatiently; it has been two hours since my granny should have come to get me.

My phone was out of battery; I would have been playing with it on midday because I was WAY to bored.

So I decided, after two hours and a half, to go and take a bus. Long way, thank god the mp4 didn’t run out of battery. I would kill my grandma before I get to kill myself, which was something for sure.

I fell asleep on the bus, but woken up just a block before my house. There it was, that big backyard and the small house. It was made of wood, my dad would have painted it yellow and there were only 3 windows, the one in the back of the house, were there would be my bedroom and two at the dinning room/kitchen (it actually was pretty much the same room. It was a VERY VERY small house.)

There he was, like any school day. Waiting in the backyard for me. Following the bus with his eyes.

He did that every time I went away from home. Every day after Junior High School.

I got up from the bus sit, and started walking to the back door of it, when I come put, I couldn’t see perséfone anywhere and heard the front door shut closed. I left my backpack in the garden and run to the house, door was locked with the key, so I clumsily tried to reach my keys on the pocket but because of the hurry, drop them off, and picked them from the wet grass, opened the door and couldn’t see anyone inside.

Where we being robbed?

Fearless, I run and opened the next door I got to find, where I was sure I heard something (My grandma’s bedroom)

What I found was something I didn’t expected, something horrible, what could have been the end of my life.

She was trying to kill perséfone, she was holding with all her strength to the poor kitten’s neck, to not let him breath, I was so horrified, so scared.

When she saw I was there didn’t let go the cat, but stop pushing so strongly his neck, to stare at me.

She was frightened as well as I was, but she was also angry, she was very angry and frightened.

The same second she stared at me, her eyes rolled up and turned white, and she fell to the floor.

She was dead.

My grandmother was dead.

Chapter

two.

shit happens

The next day I skipped school. I received a notification from my parents telling me that they were coming to take care of me, and to organize the funeral.

What a tragic death. What a strange death. So a family member died…did I felt something? Not completely, I would see all the people crying and running from here to there, worried about everything. I would just stand there and watch things go, because that is what life is. Going.

My grandma didn’t know lots of people. All she got was family. I started thinking, if I die, will it be jut like this? Tears, running, and funeral? What would be after death? Will I find my grandmother?

What was she trying to do with persephone? And why? I really doubted my presence would have made her have that heart attack…right? Was I the one to blame for her death?

I went to the bathroom, giving instructions that I was about to take a bath, persephone joined me in the bathroom, I filled it with water and tried to relax. Maybe I wouldn’t make it to my sixteenth birthday. Like if I had many people to invite or to have fun with, anyhow. I barely knew rooks and…well, I don’t know. I am just letting…life take me wherever it wants. This time persephone was, for some reason, out of the bathtub, watching me think.

I closed my eyes and lay my head on the wall. No thought came throw my mind. I just, stood there. Observing the roof, I slowly submerged my self in the water. I stood down there, with my eyes open in the bottom of the water. Could see the black figure of my cat watching me from outside the bathtub.

I was sinking. I was drowning.

A sudden nock in the door awoke me from my sinking wish; I splashed the whole room in fear of being catched trying to drawn myself.

-Berett? Could you hurry up with the bathroom please? – It was my dad’s voice. Persephone climbed into the water and joined me, I took a deep breath, trying to catch up with the air, my lungs thanking me for it

-Sure dad –I answered.

I finished washing my hair, and get out from the bathtub. I did my common getting-dry session with persephone and went to my bedroom to dress up for the funeral. What was funny about the funerals was that everyone would be wearing black. Several people asked me to talk about grandmother in there, but I absolutely refused every each one of the invitations, apart from the fact I didn’t really liked her, I wouldn’t be able to talk in public about her.

The funeral wasn’t too far from home, so we got there walking. I took persephone with me.

It was a really gloomy atmosphere, it didn’t last long, the big surprise was, that after the funeral, we would have to accompany mom back to the airport, it seemed like not both of them could be absent in Australia, so only one of them could come to take care of me, they said, that they would take 3 months turns, once 3 months had passed away, one would go to Australia and the other would come back.

Why couldn’t they be both together with me? Work work work work. If they worked that much; shouldn’t we be rich? Couldn’t I go to Australia to be with them?

Anyways, my dad was calm, a good company, but I was sure it would take him some time to get used to my ‘rules’…

For example, not even try to wake me up, don’t ask me about school, don’t ask me anything at all, etc, etc.

We had dinner alone and I went to bed. I wasn’t aloud to skip school the next day.

It was kind of weird, the fact that the funeral was made so quickly after the death. Some people wait like a week or even months to do someone else’s funeral. Oh, well.

When I arrive to my classroom, I sit on my original spot and take everything out from my bag once again.

I only drew circles. I could think of anything, an…artist block, I believe they call them.

I felt a male voice coming inside the room, which seemed to be chatting with a female voice, the female voice I did recognized. It was rooks. I didn’t look.

-Oh…- Kaelin says when sees that I was in the classroom, her voice showed disappointment and worry, I wondered why. –Well… Iasan, this is Berett, she is my friend, hello Berett, mind if I sit with you? –I observed.

‘Iasan’ there was a tall boy with black hair, he was wearing all black, and he had an enchanting smile.

- Hi there…sure, no problem –I answered- Hi Iasan.

-Berett, he is my brother, he is only older than me for an hour, unbelievable, right?

-Oh, so there is another Rooks? Well, I won’t call him Rooks so you don’t get mixed up with who I am talking to, don’t worry. – But he would still be a Rooks in my head. It was weird that I didn’t see him the first class.

He sat in front of us, but still would turn around constantly, to chat with both of us, he seemed like a good guy, a new friend. We all had similar music tastes and all of that teenager junk stuff. He was, absolutely and observer but liked to make his way with people. Like her sister might have taught him or something. He skipped the first class because he was sick, and violet would have been upset because she was feeling like sitting with Iasan that day, still gave it up to give me company. They were really good people. I wouldn’t believe I just made two friends. The day passed by really fast.

When I got home, I saw I had a comment in my cows-are-raised-to-be-killed-blog-post

Whoever it was, recommended me to read a book called…’farm rebellion’ or something like that. So now I had something to do apart from thinking. Nice.

The next day when I was sitting in the classroom, I saw Iasan coming into the classroom and coming directly to my sit.

- Do you mind if today I sit here with you? I don’t really like sitting alone –he excused himself, and waited for my response before sitting down.

-Sure, no problem. Did something happen to Kaelin?

-Oh, no, she just told me that today she will try to make new friends in the classroom, since she haven’t really met anyone else than you.- he sat down – not that…you are not enough as a friend, I mean…

-I understand. – I interrupted him. He was glad I did that, since he was starting to get embarrassed – she is a really pro-active person, needs more that two humans to pull off with the school, I think she is going to find two or three more friends, and stop her ‘search’ –I said, with a calculating voice, eyes in blank.

-Oh…that was a really good guess- he said in surprise –how long have you known my sister?

-Kind of…2 days. – He didn’t say anything.

We didn’t chat a lot, we barely talked to each other, and it was kind of funny that he would blush at times, or just couldn’t finish a sentence. It was weird sitting next to a boy, since I’ve always chosen females as friends.

He was a really fun guy to hang out with in school, and really smart, I believe that thanks to him, I might pass most of the tests.

I really didn’t see Rooks until the lunch. I saw her coming to our table happily chatting with two girls and a boy.

Oh yeah, I won the race. I knew she would come back when she had three. Her brother seemed used to the thrill. I just didn’t really cared to meet or not to meet people. When Rooks came closer, said:

-Hi guys, I want to introduce you to, Amy –she waves at her left side where there was a blonde girl with green eyes, wearing colorful clothes and a happy smile, who waved us hi – this is June – she looked at the girl on her right, who had black and blue hair, and turquoise clothes –and finally, he is Sam – the tall guy next to June, who had short brown hair, glasses and well… from the outside looked pretty normal.

Not long time after wards, I already knew them, Sam was some kind of nerd freak, June was a scene queen wannabe and Amy was…just like Kaelin. But instead of drawing she was more into the music business.

We became a friend group. Thanks to Kaelin, because if it were for me, I would just be Kaelin's friend. But this looked like a very new experience. Something I might not miss.

It was like those friend groups where you have all this different people and personalities. Pretty fun, I would be learning a lot from them. Even when there where two watchers (and a freak, which meant, yeah, you are a watcher, but you only think about your anime and comics and so on, and you convinced yourself you are a player, but you are not) the ‘friend group’ wouldn’t stay quiet, we would have long conversations about interesting themes, and we would make homework and study together, and they where already planning to hang out for the weekend.

Then I remembered.

My birthday!

I didn’t felt like celebrating it, but spending the time with friends sounded actually pretty cool. I was feeling like a true teenager.

Dad taking care of me wasn't the best ever. Some nights he would leave with his friends and don't come back until the afternoon of the day after.

Not long after this time, I remembered why I didn't enjoy my fathers company.

He came. But this time it wasn't the afternoon of the next day. It was 4 am in the morning. I could hear him, being really loud. It seemed as if he was alone, and he was beating all things in his way. I didn't wonder why he drank so much this time, his mother had passed away. But it scared me to hear him like this. I decided to make no noises, no sound, to be like a ghost in the house so he wouldn't beat me or anything.

But it wasn't as I expected. Because he screamed my name. And I heard him getting closer, and closer.

I started getting scared. I stood up and holded my heart, for it was beating with great strengh.The door broke open and there it was. My dad, looking all mad and desperate. He smiled at me and said my name again, he came closer to me and I asked him what was he doing, he said that this reminded him of when I was a little kid, that I had grown so much to be a beautiful woman. I tried to get off him but he was stronger than I, and as he took away my shirt, and I was crying, he said "my little girl" as he started grabbing my breasts and kissed them. I was sobbing by this time. Then he took his pants off and pushed my head down. Made me suck his cock. He then pushed me towards my bed, where the only thing I could do was scream no. Again and again, hoping someone could hear me.

I cried all night long.

The next morning I couldn't find dad anywhere. Best that way. Persephone was next to be and he woke me up, so softly, so lovingly. 

I went to the bathroom to find that I could hardly walk, and when I got in I started vomiting in the toilet. Vomiting is rather fun, because you have no real control of yourself and your body, and you just have your mouth open in direction on the toilet, your hands grabbing it, and feeling, your sore throat as if it was a tubing, an open pipe and all the hot vomit just goes across it, just pouring down into the toilet. It felt nice. It felt...as if everything bad was coming out of me, like if it was leaving me. So when I finished I tried to vomit again but it didn't work, there was nothing else left in me. I skipped breakfast, grabbed my bag with my notebooks and a black pen, said goodbye to Persephone, grabbed an apple, and took off.

At school everybody was excited, yeeeeah my birthday party! what a piece of shit that was, I didn't really wanted to celebrate it, but I also didn't want to spoil their fun. Iasan sat next to me everyday now, and Kaelin in front of us. June and Amy went to other class so we met in the hallway and at lunch all in the same table. 

We were all together at lunch, the girls discussing about the party arrangements, while Sam Iasan and I were just eating, Ias had finished actually, but he was staring at his plate, and out of the blue he smiles at me.

-Hey, Ber -That was the nickname they gave me- Can I speak to you in private? - He said to me.

-Uh, sure men -And I got up the table, he walked me toward one of the walls and stared at me bitting his lips, something that both Kae and Ias used to do quite often, with a playful smile and waited for me to say something. -What is it you want to tell me?

-I have a surprise for you, that you might like. -A pinch of interest came to me

-What is it?

-Oh..Kae will hate me for this, if she fins out - he laughed to himself, and then dot serious again to look at me and say- My birthday gift for you would be a tattoo, if you like the idea.

-REALLY? OMG, NO WAY! - Then I looked at our table and calmed down - But...I am not legal, how are we supposed to get myself a tattoo?

-Let's say I have a friend - He smiled- I am glad you like the idea.- We came back to the table, obviously I was smiling like an idiot, I always wanted a tattoo.

-HEEEEEYYY YOU TWOO- Laughed June and punched me in the arm and then blinked an eye to us both

-Shut the fuck up, don't open your mouth unless you know what you are talking about. -I said. Eyes blank, she stared at me

-Okey bitch, take it easy, I was joking men.

I look away, and take my lunch, leave it with all the garbage and go into the classroom.

I loved being alone in the classroom, it was quiet, nice, silent. Of course you could still hear the murmur of the other students outside, but it was the best you could get anywhere, and I sat on the windowsill to stare outside, it was a normal day, a little sunlight, a little wind, I open the blinds, and jump off, because I felt like it.

I was in the ground, my hair spread in the grass, I just lay there staring at the street, the cars coming and going, the noises, the dirt, the pollution and all the shit.

Time felt endless, just watching all the rushing by of everybody else's life.

-Berett? - Said a voice behind me, so I turn around and find Sam looking at me trough his glasses, worried for some reason. -Are you ok?

-Yeah men, why?

-I don't know....you...just, nothing. Are you coming in? Can I sit with you in this class? -He said

-Sure, just put your stuff next to mine - I said, and jumped into the classroom again and walked up to my desk and sat and then looked at him. - Are YOU ok Sam?

-What? Me? Yes I am absolutely fine. Definitely. - He sat and fiddled with his fingers, took his folders and then a comic book from his bag. He started reading it, I was thankful for this because I liked more silence. But it looked as if he wanted to say something, but I ignored it, and started drawing the veins from arms with a blue and red pen.

-Is it true, what they say? -He startled me

-What?

-That...Uhm...Your grandmother is dead, the one you lived with?

-...I don't wanna be rude to you, but mind your own business, and I don't know why people would go around talking about my personal shit.

-Yeah...sorry.

-It's alright Sam. -I tried not to be mean to him.

My dad didn't come to pick me up to school, so I went sometimes in the bus and others I took a cab. This time it was the latter, and as I looked trough the window to the moving streets, I fought never so hardly the impulse of just opening the door and roll away while the car was driving. It would have been interesting, wouldn't it have been?

The night came quicker than I expected, everything was dark and rain fell strongly, lightning bolts fell from the sky and I smiled. I like lightning, and rain, and dark clouds. It was just fascinating. When I got home I didn't want to come in, so I stayed in the yard, looking up at the clouds, so did Persephone, he looked a bit disturbed, didn't want to sit down, he would pace in circles like waiting for something to happen, something DID happen, I heard screams coming from up close, men, many men all swearing and laughing at the same time. I looked at Persephone, and moved my head symbolising for him to follow me, and started walking under the rain to the streets following the sound, just around the corner, was a pub. Apparently that's where dad has been going, and he seemed to get on a fight, against around 5 men in leather jackets with bandanas on their heads and sunglasses even though it was dark, and they where all kicking the shit out of him, and I said nothing and did nothing, and one of the men stopped and stared at us, first at Persephone and then at me, he blinked his eye on me and then hit my dad in the head. That's when I saw that the floor was full of blood and my dad was probably dead. 

-Think the job's done -Said one of the men, and they all got in motorbikes and rode away.

I didn't got any closer to the body. All soaking wet, I got back to the house, got in, and acted as if nothing happened. Maybe it was my imagination, maybe I have seen nothing. 

In the morning the police came, told me my father was dead, and that my mom was coming to take care of me, and I didn't cry. I felt nothing. I noticed my hand was bleeding, though. I think I had cut my hand with broken glass, but not entirely sure of  it. I skipped school again, today would be my birthday party and all, so I would see the guys in the afternoon, maybe. It was a week from my grandmother's death and now it was my father's death. Would mine come soon?

-Hey, want to go for the tattoo now? - Iasan was on the phone

-Love to, can't stand it here anymore. where do we meet?

It looked like a normal house from the outside, but when we opened the door it was full of posters of 5 pointed stars with the point down and goats skulls, and posters of chicks with their boobs in the air or showing off their butt. The room was not only full of posters but also smoke, I had a deep breath into it and felt how my lungs died a little bit in the inside. And then this man came to us, he was big and roundy, had big cheeks and big hands, I couldn't find a place of skin with no tattoos on him, he presented himself as Bob. Bob the tattooer, sounded like a children's book.

I showed him what I wanted, a drawing I made, and then I took my shirt and unclasped my bra and lay on the bed thing, and Ias sat next to me. 

I took a couple of hours, and it hurt so much and so deep in my skin I kinda enjoyed it, all my skin was pink, but when I saw my back in the mirror, I saw a piece of art, It was beautiful, black feathered wings from my blades to the end of my ribs, and in my column, between the two wings there was a representation on my bones, my skeleton from behind. It was the most beautiful thing ever, I jumped and hugged Iasan, completely forgetting I had my bra half put on, but afterwards clapping it shamefully again so it didn't come off or anything. I felt perfect. 

-What do we go to school for? - I asked Iasan while he walked me to his home where we would have the stay-over with all the gang.

-So we can work afterwards and all that. It's just part of the system. Like a wall. -I laughed

-I sense some pink floyd in your words. - He smiled

-Yeah, that's one hell of a good movie. The wall.

-I want to get the fuck off that system, you know? I don't need school, I don't need to work. 

-Don't let Kae hear you then -He laughed. -She doesn't really like it, but for some reason she agrees with all this system.

-That awful, she says so because she settles with little surely. 

-I am not talking shit about my sis in her back, plus I love her.

-I am not talking shit about her, she is my friend.

-I know you are not, but I was just saying that let's not get off-topic.

-Well, I don't know how much I can handle to go to school everyday and all.

-I want to fuck off to, you know. Just go away, be free and shit. But it's not like we have a choice.

-Adapt to survive. I don't like it. Why don't we have a choice?

But before he could think of something to say, there we were. The rooks home.

It was two floors high, made of wood, you could see some balconies and many windows, from the door came Kae to greet us.

-Heeeey! Guys, what took you so long? Where have you been? Why didn’t you come to school Ber? –She said coming to us and guiding us to the door- C’mon in, everyone’s here waiting for you. –She had a big smile, and today her hair was all orange, with some tufts of blue colour.

-What happened to your hair? –I asked stupidly.

-Well, I dyed it, naturally –She smiled at me. I wondered, what was her natural hair colour? Probably the same as Iasan. We walked trough the door and she led us to the living room, where there was this big sofa and they where all sit in there, Sam playing videogames with June